K**** Beach;
I went straight back home after finishing the dog walk, I felt too spent to hassle suspicious looking strangers for leads on where to find w33d. A little later B and I went out and did a bit of shopping. On the way back home we passed a small roadside market and I stopped there to buy some avocado pears. A sign was advertising a jumbo bag of avos for R20, in the background there were what looked to be bags that weighed about twenty kilograms, they were very large. Sadly, the sign wasn’t for those, these were being sold for R100, so I got a bag of them anyway. At this point we have enough avos to last a good couple of months. At the same market was a stall selling various Rastafarian paraphernalia. I’d stopped there before to get a lead for herb but the merchant seemed a little timid, she said she was standing in for her husband. Someone else was there this time [name = J] so I decided to try again. He suggested I try asking some ‘rastas’ that hung out at K*** Beach on Sundays. I thanked him and went on my way.

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Well I guess a year is as good a time as any to revive something I kind of started. I’m not completely sure where to begin, what direction to take this in. The reason why I am bothering to put the effort in at all today instead of any other day, is because it seems like I managed to reach a significant point, I think quite a big turning point. So the idea is to try keep track, from a moment that feels like what will become [yet another] new beginning. Gees… how many of those have there been precisely already? Well this time it might be different I guess, the previous moments were new beginnings as well, leading up to this. One long, drawn out process… it culminates this time, into a point where you actually get to notice a difference, a point when something tangible actually starts to exist.

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Man hate it when that happens... at some point I lost interest in the keeping track of dreams thing, but it's quite important to get a handle on it I think. I'm not sure exactly what happens to lose interest, maybe it's a question of many of them seeming to get so abstract or mundane it's difficult to imagine they fit into the picture at all. But they do. I think the angle is when it comes to what's being aimed for in working with the Tarot and the Tree of Life, pathworking, a point needs to be reached involving a conscious ability to experience the subconscious. Basically, dreaming being a product of the subconscious, means an effort made remembering them is an effort made to consciously experience the subconscious. I think keeping track of what happens in your dreams also reflects how much of this subject is sinking in. Anyway, no point crying over spilt milk, just start again with putting down what can be put down.

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1. Introduction.
2. Extract from Astrology Section @ The Kabbalah Centre [covers Aquarius, star sign associated with The Star];
3. Extract from "Authentic Jewish Mysticism and Thought" [covers Tzaddi, Hebrew letter associated with The 28th Path];
4. TZADIK Image and commentary from "the Judy Racz Gallery"
5. Extract from "Understanding The Kabbalah" by Edward Albertson [covers path no. 28]
6. Extract from "Twenty-two Arcana by a Gnostic Instructor." (Arcanum 17).
7. Extract from "The Initiatic Path In The Arcane Of Tarot And Kabbalah" By Samael Aun Weor.
8. Extract from "Skrying on the Tree of Life" by Chic Cicero & Sandra Tabatha Cicero [A textbook for practical work with the Qabalah].
9. Extract from "The Pythagorean Tarot ~ An Interpretation of the Major and Minor Arcana on Pythagorean and Alchemical Principles © 1996" by John Opsopaus.
10. Extract from "The Path of The Star - Tzaddi" © Ann Skea.

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And then there was an invitation to uncle C's place this weekend, N, the better half was turning 50. We had reservations; there is that whole how I feel about relationships thing going on mentioned previously [see friends and family]. I think the last time we saw them was when Mom had come to Cape Town from Johannesburg for a short visit about a year and a half ago. That time things felt like they got strained and so we hadn't seen them again since then. Recently I'd spent a few days reading and writing and speaking to B about all that previous stuff and my head was still quite a bit heavily in that space. A big part of what was coming out of it was the idea of there being plenty of magic going on all around you even if what it looked like was normal everyday routine reality, peppered with the odd random coincidence. I guess the best way to explain it is the way you 'see' changes, slightly. It's hard to describe unless you've done it yourself, and to the outsider it would be easy to dismiss the explanation - it doesn't sound very convincing. A convincing explanation would involve an extreme surely; magic is what you use to explain it only when something supernatural happens. In the meantime what we had to work with was it being possible for it to be a bit more subtle. In fact, a lot more subtle. A misleading word though, because as subtle as it may appear from the outside, the effects of immersion in it can get weird, or overwhelming. What made sense to me was that there needed to be a symbolic gesture representing the opposite of being immersed, a returning to of 'reality' if that makes sense, even though for all intents and purposes you were already 'there'.

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