|There is another part to this. A couple actually. Hasn't there already been a thing about involving a middleman when it comes to finding what we are seeking? Haven't we already done that a couple of times as a species? Hasn't that turned out a little sour, something that doesn't really work all that well? And isn't there the whole dis-empowerment thing? I mean; isn't there a point at which we should be accepting responsibility? When it comes to this kind of stuff shouldn't we? Shouldn't this path be a road, isn't something like this a lifelong commitment; a lifestyle?|
The proverbial needle in a haystack.
I guess it's my own fault that I mistook the finger for the moon. But these people whose finger it is are so busy pointing. They pointed with so much enthusiasm that it was hard to ignore. That's what's going on. Everyone is pointing a finger and it's only their finger that is pointing apparently. They might not be saying it but that's what it sounds like. Okay so you can see the moon, but what's the big deal going on about pointing at it? Hmm... I'm not sure I'm on point here. Hah.
This was meant to be about what there is that counts. And it's not in all the complicated stuff. It can be surprisingly easy, surprisingly obvious. Nope. Not sure that's 100% on point either. Something to do with a current? An underlying current. The means of accessing it which changes depending on the environment. It's about something that is there all the time, and about how it stays the same thing even when the surroundings warp and change. When the world changes, when you change. When the time and place change. When cultures change.
When the fingers that point change.
And in an attempt to reach a consensus involving what this is about, what is this about? I don't know. Some kind of idea involving a step up. Stepping up from what? You know; that thing; stepping up from just being a normal person. To put in a bit of effort and become gifted somehow. Special. Distinct. Endowed with an ability. Or. To get healed. To be healed of whatever human malady that plagues you and me. Inflict you and me. Isn't this the point of getting into psychedelics, into entheogens? Isn't this the point of consulting with the Teacher Plants? Isn't that the point in dabbling in magick, in shamanism.
In dabbling with the Tarot, Kabbalah, Meditation, Buddhism.
Excuse me while I try get my head wrapped up around this. While I come up empty. While I come up with a sneaking suspicion that it's all just another game. Just another something to preoccupy myself with, another way to pass the time. That ultimately there isn't all that much difference. That the level that you think you can make a difference at with this stuff, the level that you are aiming for to make any difference at, is just a little beyond your reach. Just a little beyond your league. At that level things have their own way of working and there's very little anyone can do to change it.
The space I'm in right now involves screaming shenanigans at all the elaborate stories, all the incredible claims, at anyone that claims there's a difference between... Between anyone that's made any progress on any path and anyone that might have stepped on that path and gone in the completely opposite direction. You are initiated into the higher realms and commune with angels? Guess what I did this morning? I took a dump. Same thing. You manage to summon a daemon and make them carry out your bidding? I took a Bic lighter out of my pocket and lit a cigarette. What's the difference?
From this perspective my life, your life, has been an ongoing sequence of miracles from the day we were born (miracle number one), and will be until the day we die (the final miracle). Every breath between birth and death is another miracle. Eating. Sleeping. Fncking. Sh!tting. Miracle upon miracle. To write a word, to laugh out loud, to delight at the sound of music or a good movie. Miracle miracle miracle. The only obstacle we have to overcome is being fooled into believing that this is not so. That there might be more. That mere life is not good enough and that there must be something wrong. And then to agree to pay someone something to fix it.
To fix me.